Ever sit back and think about the things that you miss. Being here in the mountains I have. I realized that I miss talking to people. I miss late night phone calls, hearing the other person laughing. I can't remember the last time I took a walk through Central Park holding hands. My favorite evenings are those where I end up having a great conversation be it at Barnes and Noble or my favorite little Italian place on Columbus Ave. or when I am walking side by side with someone on fifth ave. Forming that intimacy helps for making a great relationship. It actually makes me sad that I have allowed these simple forms of communicating and interacting to be replaced by impersonal methods that don't require meeting or talking. I couldn't even tell you the last time I had a phone conversation that I just laughed and was just so absorbed in what the other person was saying. Being here with my friend has opened my eyes that I need to get back to that place where I like being around great people. I have so many people who are just so amazing and rarely speak to them or look to speak to them.

I used to tell myself that it was okay if you didn't really speak on a regular basis. That is so far from the truth. If the silences are greater than the moments that you really do speak there is a problem. I understand what my ex meant when he said I seemed like a boring person. It is not enough to just be in the same room physically. There has to be a form of interaction and not just sexually. There were times when I thought that because we loved each that would sustain us. We spoke but never about anything of any importance. When he asked me what his favorite song was I couldn't answer. I was really taken back at how little we knew about each other. Yes we messaged each other and yes we spoke on the phone but when we were physically together he would watch television and I would be reading a book. Communication doesn't always have to be some deep philosophical discussion it can be about anything. When I lived in Virginia Colin and I would take our usual spots on the sofa and just talk about random things. We became each others best friend. Even having someone explain football can bring just a bit closer together. When you ask questions and spark conversations it send a message that you care enough to want to know about what they like. Verbal communication can open doors to the inner most part of who a person is. If you don't discuss face to face what your dreams and aspirations are how can you encourage or feel encouraged to actual pursue those ambitions. Granted some may say do you really need someone else to help you with taking the next step but take a second to think about this. When you are child don't your parents give you that same encouragement and support. Why should that need change when you become an adult. I am all for Independence but in all reality you can't do it all on your own. Example of not doing it on your own is networking. We will go and spend time creating a relationship that will help lift our social status but not one that enriches us personally and emotionally. What is the point of knowing 1000 people if none of them are people that you have any real connection with them.

I may sound mushy or a little naive but if you are one of those people who wonder why is it that you seem to have one failed relationship/friendship after the other. Look at your habits of communication.