2010

People take the New Year to start fresh. They make resolutions and plans for what they want to accomplish. As I sat on the couch watching The Three Stooges I thought back on the past year. Warren decided that he didn't was to get married, I moved back to New York to be a recruiter, I realized that being a mom is a truly wonderful gift and I got someone back in my life who I hadn't realized I had missed so much. I reflected on the last ten and I have to say that I am not to proud of myself with certain things. I am not looking at 2010 as just a start to a new year I am looking at it as the start to a new decade.
I am not going to look back and dwell on things I cant change. No longer will I beg and plead for someone to come. If you can deal with my life and the things I want to accomplish then all I can say is kick rocks. I am not going to be double minded anymore. I am going to stick to my decisions. I am not going to focus on getting into a relationship because I have so many to work on already i.e friends, family, the people I work with. I won't compromise who I am for a man. If I man is willing to cheat with you he is going to cheat on you. I am not going to take what people say at face value. I am not going to recycle boyfriends an ex is an ex for a reason. What I learned with Warren was that men don't change especially if they don't think they are doing anything wrong.

I need to be closer to God. My life turns to shambles when I exclude him from it. I can be angry at him when things turn out badly but when they are good I pick him back up again.

I am 27 years old, I am not that 17y/o who thinks that the world is great. A lot of hurt and pain could have been avoided if I had been patient. So I am going to wait, not to be swayed by whims, desires, or fears of being alone. When I am in the place I need to be it will happen. I am a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone. The reason that it takes longer for some is because we never slow down. We are in such a rush that we settle to be with someone who only fits part of what we want and we think that over time we can get them to change. We think that eventually with training and time they will be the total package. Not knowing that if we wait and just become the people that we are meant to be everything else false into place.

I spent so much time worrying about being married that I let a lot of things fall by the way side. I invested so much time in being everything for everyone that I neglected myself. Over the last few years I have gained much more than just a sense of who I am. I found out what I am capable of and that there is nothing that I can accomplish. I don't have any regrets but I am looking at 2010 as the start of a new life and fresh start to go even further than I have. I know that when the time is right love will fall into place. In the mean time I am going to cherish every moment that I have with the people I love and care about.