Navy: Welcome to the ship

 Back story: I always make it a point to talk to my sailors about what they should be mindful of during their first few years in the Navy. Your first enlistment can set the tone for what it is going to be like for you on your first ship. Some who read this may think I am saying too much but I wish someone had spoken to me when I first arrived to the ship and took me under their wing. Besides many of my counterparts have told me I should right this stuff down. I am sure other have but here is my take.

When you first see your new command you are overcome with a few emotions. Fear, apprehension, excitement, awe, shock etc.. You come across the brow and request permission to come aboard and wait patiently for your sponsor to arrive. You are all smiles and saying hello to everyone who passes you by. You notice that the guys take notice of you and smile. Finally you get picked up and go to meet your chief. He/She ask you a couple of questions and then assign someone to show you around. Here is where things can go well or not so well. You can A) have the squared away sailor who will take care of you or B) the guy on his way out which  no one wants to task anything with so they entrust you to him. Lets hope you get A) because you will be fine. Once you get settled you get into the groove of things, here is what you need to be mindful of.

I want you to understand this everyone is pretty in the Navy. If you are "New" you are the most beautiful thing anyone has ever seen. To break it down to you, you are what they call "fresh meat". There are people who are genuinely helpful there are others who want to take advantage of you. If a guy comes up to you after a few weeks and tells you the following statements I want you RUN AWAY FROM HIM!!!! here are few:
1) I have seen you around the boat and I see you keep to yourself. I like that because I don't like anyone in my business. (Truth: He is trying to be the first person to sleep with you. He also doesn't want anyone to blow his cover about being the player.)
2) I know how hard it can be being the new kid so if you ever want to get away I have place you can stay at. (Don't go to his house and be a statistic.)
3) I don't really talk to these girls because they are out there. ( He doesn't talk to them because he had them already.)
 Let's say no one has bothered you and you have made it to month six on the ship with out becoming a notch on the belt. (Good job but you are not done yet, deployment is in two weeks.) Deployment hits, you are two weeks in, you start getting a slew of emails. If any of the following happen to you please tell them to leave you alone and report them.
1) I have seen you around the ship, I think you are cute, want to grab chow sometime? (He wants to show everyone on the ship that he is thinking of making you a boat boo, depending on which meals and how often you are probably one of many)
I want you to think of the first two weeks as draft picks for how will be the boo of choice.
2) I am married but we are separated. We have an understanding. ( The only things separating them is the deployment you are on.)
I can't tell you how many times I have seen this only for it to end badly for the girl.
3) I can't help it if other girls like me. (Those girls mean mugging you and being nosy as to who you are to him were the flavor of the month last cruise and her henchmen.)
4) I hope that I can trust you not to say anything because we can get into a lot of trouble but I think you are worth it. (Sweetie, while being with someone in Khakis maybe hot you will get into a world of hurt. Understand this no man is worth loosing your career.)

Again, I tell all my sailors this tidbit of info, your first four years in the Navy are setting the foundations of who you will become whether in the military or in the civilian sector. There will always be time for dating, take care of you first. Why? Simply because if you get caught up you can get pregnant, an STI, sent to captains mast for adultery and fraternization. You don't want to be the girl dubbed the easy one.

Do you ever wonder what happens at the end of deployment?  The girl gets pregnant and ends up alone because the guys is going back to his wife whom is waiting on the pier with their children. You find out you were not the only one and end up on the medical hit list for a STI. He tells everyone he got you to fall for him and thus opens the flood gates for every idiot to try and sleep with you.

If your parents never told you this in your life, I will tell you right now. You are beautiful, you are smart, intelligent, worthy of someone treating you with love and respect. Set the tone and the standard of how you want to be treated. The military is too small for you to make careless decisions. There is so much you can benefit from this experience if you would just be patient and take care of you first. Keep your goals in mind and stay focused on what you were trying to accomplish.

If you are that girl trying to show the world you are not a statistic forge a way for yourself. Find a mentor and strong leader who will support and mold you. Build a support system of people who you can trust, are like minded and will be there for you.

Not everyone is like this, there are some great people with whom you will build lasting friendships for years to come, BUT, do not just lay down with anyone. Take the time to get to know someone and not just the person they want to show you. The signs are there you just have to watch them. You are worth more than any diamond or pearl. Who you are is priceless and irreplaceable.