My most important relationship

I have two boys are just the most amazing kids in the world. I have been away from them for a long time because of my line of work. My mom has does an amazing job in raising them. I could not thank her enough for what she does. I have been stationed on a ship for the most part of my career so I was pretty much a weekend mom. I drove up to NY every other weekend and took off four days out the month to see them. While any time I spend with them is important it took away from us getting to know each other. I took orders to be recruiting and I am seeing first hand what I had been missing out. I get to wake up with them every morning and take Jules to school. I spend weekends with them and we get to go to museums and movies. I make them breakfast and we have our trips to the diner (the boys let me know when my cooking is not up to par). This time with them made me see that regardless of whether I am in a relationship or not these two will be there. These two wonderful little boys love me unconditionally that they don't care about weight, how my hair looks. They just want to know that mom is going to be there when they go to sleep and when they wake up. I am blessed to have this time with them and that I don't get to miss out on the important things like birthdays and holidays and school plays.

Too many times we fail to see how much we really have. We can focus to much on what we are lacking and neglect those around us. I want my children to be able to say their mother was there and that she loved them. I don't want them to think of me as just some part time figure. It is all up to me and the decisions that I make.

It's done

I have spent so much time angry with you and with myself that the time has come for me to let you go. I wanted things to be different this time around. I told myself that if I just remained by your side that one day you would see how much I cared. I thought if I put more of myself that it would mean something to you but it didn't. I can't be angry at the fact you never noticed or care to notice the measures I took to be by your side. I didn't fly cross country or stay up late to talk on the phone for you to thank me. I did those things because I loved you. I did them because when you want to make it work and are committed to it these things are not great feats. Was I foolish, more than likely but I was in love. Who is to say what is going above and beyond. You make due with what you have. I forgive you now and I do it not so that you can sleep at night. I do it because from this point forward I know just how great my capacity to love it. I know that with patience someone will come along and you will be but a distant memory. I wish you the best and as of today I have cried my last tear. As of today I am no longer angry and from my the bottom of my heart I wish you nothing but the best.

Their story was like a page out of book you never want to put down. They lost contact and many years later they found each other. That day she got the phone call she thought everything was falling into place. The man of her dreams had finally found her. He says all the right things and all her friends are taken in by his charisma. He has this smile that makes you melt. When he kisses your lips your heart just melts. Those are the moments when he is nice. There is the other side to him. The side that says mean and hurtful things. The side that rejects you and then makes you feel like it is all your fault. You are never thin or thick enough. Your hair is never long enough. Promises are broken and words hold no meaning. You think to yourself maybe if you just hang on a little longer that it will work itself out. You think if I am a little more understanding everything will be okay. In time you see that they don't work out. He finds attention somewhere else. He tells you that he feels he is missing something else and that you don't fit that picture of his perfect woman. You feel like you have been kicked while you are down. You have no where to turn and you wonder how did it get like this.

It's simple really, you chose not to see that he was still the same person. He was still that guy that was so full of himself. You look back and you ask yourself why would you want to be with someone who never meets you half way. You have to see that anyone who doesn't appreciate you is not worth your time. Anyone who would risk all that you have put into the relationship for something meaningless is not worth it. Too many times we are ready to accept anything for the sake of not being alone. For all you know the one person that is meant for you is wondering to themselves where is their other half. We need to take the time and figure out who we are so that we wont be blind when that person comes along and is using use. Anyone who will cheat and say things to hurt you doesn't love you. Yes there are those few instances when someone does change but that is because they have matured. In this day and age people don't look to better themselves or change foolish ways. In their eyes they are already perfect. Don't get caught up in the pretty smile and smooth talk because before you know it he is not the person you thought.